*The Po-Po of Paris*

"Got a lot of questions for me
You got a lot of questions for me
Got your finger pointing at me
Distrusted
I look for wires when I'm talking to you
You'd make a great cop"
Ian Mackaye of Fugazi, Great Cop of the album: In On The Kill Taker

Was walking to the metro station the other day after taking in three museums, in which I'll get to on a later post; when I had a slight problem with a Paris undercover police officer.

Walking with my hood up due to the massive amount of wind, I suddenly feel this person at my side and see something being shown to me. Figuring that it was just another pushy street vendor trying to sell me an Eiffel Tower key chain, I said "non" and moved away from him.

He then grabbed my arm forcibly, to which I reacted by yanking my arm back from him.

As I did this I finally get a good look at the guy and realized that the thing I thought he was trying to hand me was an orange armband that read POLICE. Facing each other he opens his coat and shows me his gun.

I threw my hands up as he threw me up against the nearby wall. Yelling in French, and gripping my coat, he seemed pretty mad that I hadn't understood that he was a cop.

All I could say was "English! English!" when he realized that I didn't speak French. He, apparently, didn't know too much English either. So he started to say "passport, passport."

Now this is where it gets a little tricky to explain myself. I had heard about all these scams where people take the lone tourist for his wallet, passport, or worse...and realized that I hadn't seen any identification but an armband and a gun. As he tried to look at my passport, I didn't let go of it, which made him suspicious. As he tried to figure out why I didn't want to give him my passport, I thought of the only thing I could to let him know that I wanted to make sure that he was a real cop...so I started saying "I.D. I.D."

He realized why I was apprehensive (and probably why I hadn't figured out that he was a real cop right away) and showed me his I.D.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE PICKED UP BY A COP IN MY LIFE!!! I was starting to wonder if he was some guy acting like a cop to mug me. After I realized he was legit I complied with everything he said and let him have the passport.

"Come" he said and we walked back a block or two to the store I had just come out off (I had grabbed a coke for the metro ride). Along the way, he asked, "woman?" and made a punching motion with his fist. I guess some woman had been mugged or hit or something...which is too bad, but when I shrugged and looked confused he seemed to realize that he had got the wrong guy.

As we got closer he reassured me, by pointing out his cop car and walked me over to a group of people, two cops in uniform and three guys standing around. He grabbed one of the guys and brought him over to look at me, to which the guy shook his head no.

I get on the metro feeling like the most notorious person ever.

So you might be thinking that this give O'Rielly a one up...can't say that it does.

Yeah, the experience scared the crap out of me, but when you consider that at any given point a whole THIRD of the population of Paris could be tourists and non-residents, it presents a problem for the police unlike any other...not to mention a problem that's got to be really hard to train for. I mean, how do you train guys good judgment and understanding that not all civilians are going to believe that they are really police and are going to take precautions to not be taken advantage of? The guy knew exactly why I wanted to see his I.D. and made it through the language barrier as best he could.

...and I don't mind being hassled by a cop if it means that they're looking for a guy who hit a woman (for whatever reason it happened). Just as long as they figure out in the end that I didn't do it. Point goes to Wife(ish).

Wife(ish): 4
O'Rielly: 2